Tired All The Time - Symptoms of Depression

We are coming upon a year since my dad first started getting sick. It has seemed that time slowed upon his diagnosis of esophageal cancer, and stopped all together upon his death. Most of the time, I try not to think about the whole situation because I miss him so badly that it can become completely debilitating. I understand now how people become hoarders or morbidly obese when things like this happen. I have gained 20 lbs since he died, and I don't care enough right now to make any changes. There are also lots of other symptoms of depression that I'll get to later.

I was never in the mood for or excited about Christmas last December. I forgot about my son's birthday until right before his party. Daughters' birthdays are the first week in May and I keep forgetting to even think about their party or cake or invitations. I forgot Grandmother's birthday until right before. I've forgotten every important anniversary that I share with my husband since last July, and suddenly I hate being reminded that my birthday is coming and how old I'll be when it never bothered me before.

I do not have the motivation or desire to create things anymore. I make myself do it because if I don't, I'll fall into a pit of despair that I may never come out of. If I did not have children to take care of, I'd never get out of bed. My house is a disaster all the time because I don't care about that either. I am failing my husband and my children because I can't get past the things that happened last summer, I've lost almost an entire year of my life without realizing it.

So, since there are a huge number of people out there suffering from depression and a great percentage of them don't realize it, here is a list of depression symptoms.

• Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
• Fatigue and decreased energy
• Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness
• Feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism
• Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
• Irritability, restlessness
• Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex
• Overeating or appetite loss
• Persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment
• Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings
• Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts

I thank you for taking the time to read all of this. I have a long road to get to a healthy frame of mind, and this is my first step. 

You Have To Exercise Your Core

As of right now, I have 42 beads waiting to be cored including the ones from today.

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Plus two new small diameter sliders to list on Etsy.

Aside from that, I started painting what will be Youngest Daughter's new bedroom.

Thanks for stopping by :)

Show Down

Beads from yesterday. You can click the pictures to enlarge them.

Won't be making any today. I plan to take a nap while I have the chance, then some much needed housecleaning this afternoon.

A Treasure Trove

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16 of the 17 Pandora beads I made yesterday. There were also a couple tube beads and a couple dread sliders. Five of these are all ready claimed :)

Coming soon will be some University of Missouri beads in black and old gold for a custom order, a set of tiger beads for another custom order, and my first attempt at an imploded mushroom for another custom order. I also still have to figure out how I did an internal swirl bead for an order I've had for... almost a year *sad face*

I only have five beads in the kiln today and every one of them was a fight from start to finish, so I decided to pack it up. The second time glass shocked and the piece got stuck under the sleeve of my sweatshirt and pinned to my arm, that was too much.

Though if I keep on at this rate, I may actually have a fully stocked Etsy shop once I get all of these cored - which will mean too much stuff sitting around and a sale. 

That's all I've got for today. Thanks for stopping by. 

Pandora Left A Box

In my desperation to get away from constant talk about the explosions in Boston yesterday, I went and made beads for a couple hours. Here are my favorite Pandoras from the whole session.

Click to enlarge

With the exceptions of numbers 1, 3, and 7, they are all either Fire Lotus or Dalai Lotus from TAG. I was pleasantly surprised when one that would NOT strike yesterday came out looking so lovely, though I can't say which it was now.

As soon as I get some silver tubing, I'll core them and list them all in my Etsy. 

Thanks for stopping by :)

Beady Eyed

I cleaned my glass bench yesterday (all though I only did it because I couldn't find my tweezers). I hung up a magnetic strip and put all of my tools on it, so they'll be out of the way. More importantly, I made beads. Ten of them, to be exact. Not all are worthy of showing, but I've got a couple. 

A small-diameter dread bead

A big chunky dread bead

Some Pandoras that I haven't cored yet

So that's my latest bead work. 

I've got a frame for a mini top hat, but I've reached a stalling point in that project. I'm reading my hatmaking book lesson by lesson, and I'm confused on the process of covering the frame with fabric, so I've read it over and over and it isn't getting any clearer just yet. Maybe I'll give it another shot this afternoon. I like to think that if I can do it once, even wrong, then it will make it easier to learn and I can improve upon it in the future. 

No miniatures right now. I've still got a load of tiny donuts to ice and decorate, but my hat project is in the way at the moment, so that's more reason I need to get it done. 

Thanks for stopping by. 

Red Sky At Morning

Not a lot of new beads lately. I've kinda been working on designs for some hats, and making some clay miniatures, and various other things.

The only bead I really have to show right now is this red dread bead.

You can find the sale listing here.

Nothing much else just now. Thanks for stopping by :)

Thank You For Calling Helga's House of Healthy Eating

Starting today, I'm officially getting in shape so I can run the Color Me Rad 5K in Denver in August. Today I tried the Spinach Smoothie from the foul-mouthed freaks over at Thug Kitchen- if you can handle swear words AND have the desire to eat healthy at least once in a while, I'd highly recommend you pay them a visit and try out the recipes. Sure, it looks kinda iffy, but once it's all blended up, you can't taste or smell the spinach and the rest of it is fruity, healthy goodness.

Also, I did the elliptical today. Yay! The stationery bike too! Yay again!

Son is on Spring Break from school, so there will be little if any chance for new work this week. Oh well.

That's all I've got. Thanks for stopping by.

April is Autism Awareness Month

I have an eight-year-old son who has Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Despite his learning and attention problems, I love that kid more than life itself.