I was never in the mood for or excited about Christmas last December. I forgot about my son's birthday until right before his party. Daughters' birthdays are the first week in May and I keep forgetting to even think about their party or cake or invitations. I forgot Grandmother's birthday until right before. I've forgotten every important anniversary that I share with my husband since last July, and suddenly I hate being reminded that my birthday is coming and how old I'll be when it never bothered me before.
I do not have the motivation or desire to create things anymore. I make myself do it because if I don't, I'll fall into a pit of despair that I may never come out of. If I did not have children to take care of, I'd never get out of bed. My house is a disaster all the time because I don't care about that either. I am failing my husband and my children because I can't get past the things that happened last summer, I've lost almost an entire year of my life without realizing it.
So, since there are a huge number of people out there suffering from depression and a great percentage of them don't realize it, here is a list of depression symptoms.
- Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
- Fatigue and decreased energy
- Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness
- Feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism
- Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
- Irritability, restlessness
- Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex
- Overeating or appetite loss
- Persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment
- Persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" feelings
- Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts
I thank you for taking the time to read all of this. I have a long road to get to a healthy frame of mind, and this is my first step.